So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
