butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
