Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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