Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You're earring is so big in my mouth
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
