my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Boobs speak an international language.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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