i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
