Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
