Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
