Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
