On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
