nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
