Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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