Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
