she woke up with a sticky ear
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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