So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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