i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
50% drunk capacity currently
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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