Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
