she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
