before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
