I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
