My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize