I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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