guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Randomize
