her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
