Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
