omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
