Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm really busy with my period
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