For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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