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first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
