I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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