I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
