walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
