$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
