To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
