I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
