You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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