I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
The power of my boobs compel you
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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