I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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