it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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