oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
True college students do jello shots in the library
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
