You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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