im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
