Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
