dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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