gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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