do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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