A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
