When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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