I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
