omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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