I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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